Celebrity Crush
by StunningCS
Summary: Killian finds himself extremely confused while watching an episode of a TV show called House M.D., especially when a very familiar face appears on the screen. Captain Swan smuff with a bit of Captain Cobra and Captain Cobra Swan. Set sometime in the near future.


Sometimes Killian Jones couldn't quite believe this was actually his life now: spending the day trying to elaborate solid plans to defeat the villainous threats against Storybrooke, surrounded by hope and the heroes who always managed to find it. Coming home to Emma and feeling that same hope consuming him whenever she smiled, something she had been doing increasingly more these days. He was certain she thought no one was watching her, but he could never miss it whenever the edge of her lips curled upwards. Sometimes it happened from intently admiring Henry from afar, other times from the taste of cinnamon on her hot chocolate and almost always whenever they were making love, as she tenderly whispered in his ear how much she loved him and the way he made her feel. He was a fan of every part of her, but her alluring smile never failed to make his heart race, rejoicing over the fact that, out of the billions of people in the world, in all the realms, Emma Swan was his True Love.

And now here he was: about to enter the house that was theirs, a physical evidence of how much his life had changed – how _he_ had changed – and of his hero status.

Hero. He instinctively raised his left eyebrow as he smirked. He would never get tired of that title, regardless of the remainders of doubt that still plagued him from time to time. Jiggling the keys in his hand, he found himself whistling, perhaps a sign of joy of the time he was about to spend with Henry. Earlier that day, while they were both having a _very_ pleasant – but quick – time in the shower, Emma had asked him if he would watch over the boy before he went to Regina's for dinner. He was quickly nodding his head before she even finished the sentence. He and Henry had grown closer ever since he had moved in and at each passing day, the lad seemed to grow fonder of him, accepting him as the father figure Killian had always been ready to be.

As soon as he got in, he found Henry slouched on the couch, his eyes intently fixed on this realm's magic box – or television as they called it.

"Hey, Killian" much like his mother, Henry seemed to always know whenever he was nearby – he didn't even need to turn around to know it Killian was the one who had just got in.

"Hello, my boy" Killian lightly patted Henry's shoulder from the other side of the couch, as he tried not to sound disappointed that Henry was already entertained with whatever he was watching. Killian had hoped that maybe he would want to go sailing with him or just wander around the docks as he told him all about his safe (and age appropriate) seafaring stories. "Should you be eating those just before dinner?" in a swift gesture, Killian took the can of something called Pringles from Henry's hands.

"Hey!" Henry shouted in protest as he watched Killian join him on the sofa, still thoroughly examining the can in his hand with a somewhat disgusted look on his face.

"How impressive. These appear to be even greasier than the ones you usually munch." Killian could see Henry rolling his eyes in annoyance as he tried to get back his Pringles.

"Watching TV without Pringles is like Chuck being on the island without Wilson." At that, Killian immediately stopped looking at the chips, his eyes focusing on Henry instead, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Henry smirked, that was exactly what he was expecting Killian to do.

"Wha- Who?" using Killian's usual cluelessness about popular culture references, Henry finally retrieved his Pringles. He knew that Killian was just trying to help him improve his eating habits but he really just wanted to finish his tasty snack. Just this once.

"Nevermind." Killian watched Henry as he put one of the oily chips in his mouth and resumed watching whatever he had been so enthralled in before. Realizing that the boy wouldn't want to go anywhere else anytime soon, Killian decided he may as well keep him company. It wasn't easy, he would always get overly sluggish prior to dinner and, before he knew it, he was closing his eyes.

* * *

When he woke up, he wasn't sure how much time had passed but it looked like Henry was watching something different. Maybe this other thing was going to be interesting to the point where he would be able to stay awake until Emma arrived.

"What are we watching now?" Killian asked as he rubbed his eyes with his hand.

"It's a TV show." So this wouldn't be as long as a film, that much Killian had already learnt. "It's about a doctor called House."

"House? Dr. House?" the tone in Killian's voice sounded extremely indignant. "Why would anyone be called house?"

"Why would anyone be called Jones?" Henry crisply counter-asked. Killian already knew Henry well enough to know he was using his smartass remarks to try to get a reaction out of him, which usually led to a round of playful banter between them.

"I'll have you know that Jones is one of the oldest surnames in the world." Killian boasted, pretending to be offended at Henry's words. "Although now I'm wondering if I should just change it to Killian Tavern or Killian Cabin. Maybe I'll get one of these TV shows of my own, too" he said, as he waved his hand absentmindedly. That got Henry laughing and Killian felt a sense of pride invading him, a smile suddenly adorning his own face.

"Dr. Tavern… It sounds like a ratings winner." Henry added, right before his eyes focused on the screen once again.

Falling into the comfortable silence that was already familiar by now, Killian tried to pay attention to the story unfolding on that television apparatus thing. So far he had only been able to see a couple of people in long, white coats wandering around.

"So tell me, what are these folks supposed to be doing?"

"They're all doctors and they have to diagnose rare diseases." Judging by the slightly disturbed look on his face, Killian wasn't impressed.

"Ah… I see." An afternoon spent at the docks would be so much more delightful than watching shows about bloody rare diseases. But he loved the boy, he would make this sacrifice for him and he would keep him company.

As Killian tried to get invested on the people parading on the screen, he could sense Henry fidgeting next to him, looking at him out of the corner of his eyes every once in a while. Whenever Killian would look at him, he'd quickly avert his gaze and look at the screen again, pretending to have always been completely engrossed in the story. Killian wondered if his presence was annoying Henry in any way but the lad had never been shy to let him or Emma know that he wanted to be alone so he tried to push those thoughts away. It was only when he felt Henry's sideways gaze on him once again that Killian decided to inquire him. But before he had a chance to turn his eyes away from the screen, his heart stopped and anything he was about to say was quickly forgotten.

"Bloody hell…" his eyes bulged, his mouth gaping open. Looking almost straight at him, right from the television screen, was his Swan. She was also wearing one the white coats and she was talking to a blonde man and… what in the frigging hell?... how was any of this possible? She had never told him about this.

"I know, it's impressive, isn't it?" Henry's excited voice suddenly brought him out of his thoughts, although his eyes didn't blink for fifty seconds, still staring at the screen.

"Swan…" She looked quite the same, except for her hair, chocolate brown waves cascading down her back.

"Actually, her name's Dr. Cameron" he wasn't sure if Killian had even heard him, so lost in his state of shock. Henry couldn't help but smirk, having waited for this moment for a long time. He had wanted to show Emma's look-alike to Killian for a long time now but none of his previous attempts had come to fruition.

"It's your mother." Killian stated with a mix of disbelief and surprise in his voice, hook pointing towards the screen and eyes still glued on this never before seen version of Emma. "Just look at her!" Henry watched as Killian slowly got up from the couch and started moving towards the TV as all of his facial muscles twitched in sync, trying to understand how any of this was possible.

"No, it's an actress who looks like mom." with that, Henry hit the pause button, a perfect image of Emma's look-alike frozen on the screen. By now the only thing Killian was able to do was shake his head, not really believing what his eyes were seeing.

"Why did it stop?" his head suddenly turned back, a tinge of worry in his voice. Now that he had seen this, he certainly wasn't going to stop watching her.

"I stopped it."

Killian was going to urge Henry to put it back on when they both heard the front door shutting. Work must have gone well because soon enough Emma was joining them in the living room, shimmying out of her red wool coat and tossing her boots aside.

"Hey bo-" the words died on her lips as soon as she took in her surroundings. Killian was standing right in front of the television screen, an image of that actress who looked like her the object of Killian's inquisitive look. Emma instantly knew there was only one possible culprit in this. Her gaze fell on Henry and, sure enough, a guilty smile was embellishing his features. "Seriously? You've shown him _that_?" her words sounded harsher than she had intended, but Henry didn't seem to take it the wrong way.

"I just wanted to see his reaction." Emma could sense the tinge of regret in Henry's words. He probably wasn't expecting Killian to be this affected.

"Swan, how is this possible?" when Killian finally looked at her, she could see how dilated his pupils were, a clear sign that he was still surprised and taking it all in. Emma approached him carefully, a smile gracing her lips. She couldn't help but find amusement in the situation. When she was close enough, she softly kissed him on the lips, softly grabbing his hand at the same time.

"That's not me." Despite her efforts to calm him down, he was still tense. The way his jaw kept twitching a sure proof of that.

"Are you certain, love? I don't want this to be another crisis we have to resolve." In Storybrooke, you just never knew what was going to come up next. What if someone crazy had started to create clones of everyone in town?

"I'm certain. Please don't worry about it." Emma could hear him sigh in relief, his body relaxing at her words.

"Yeah, Killian. It's just someone from this world who really looks like mom." Even Henry was trying to assure him that there was nothing to be worried about.

"Look, I know it's…" Emma paused to take a good look at the screen. It had been a long time since she had watched this show and the remarkable similarities between her and the actress stunned her once again "… _freaky_ , but it's definitely not a reason for concern."

Feeling a little more relieved, Killian managed to smile at them, his head nodding in acceptance. If they were absolutely sure that this was nothing more than a very strong and rare resemblance between two people, he was going to trust them. He still wasn't completely convinced about it, but he wasn't going to let this bother him for now.

"How was your day, love?" The feel of his lips on her forehead and his soft hand cradling her head earned him a low hum of appreciation.

"It was okay. I finished earlier than expected." She stated as Killian grabbed her hand and started pulling her to the couch, letting her sit between him and Henry.

"You're just in time to watch the rest of the episode with us!" The excitement in Henry's voice was palpable. Unfortunately, it wasn't every day the three of them had the chance to sit down for a while and relax together.

"Are you okay with this?" Emma suddenly turned to Killian, wanting to know if he was comfortable with watching the show that had someone who looked so much like her. Given his dazed state just a moment ago, she wanted to make sure he was okay with it.

"Sure. At least if the story isn't captivating I can always delight in the brunette's beauty" he was teasing her now, his quirked eyebrow and that damn smirk of his giving him away. She lightly swatted him on the arm, pretending to be offended at his remark.

"I guess we now know who his celebrity crush is." Emma's elbow softly hit Henry's ribs in a not so subtle indirect way to try to get a rise out of Killian.

"Do _you_ have a celebrity crush, Swan?"

"Most people have celebrity crushes, Killian."

"She totally has a celebrity crush." Henry added before pressing 'play' and the image on the screen started moving again. Killian was fairly sure that the lad knew who this celebrity crush of Emma's was but he would get the truth out of her later. Already devising a plan in his mind, he decided not to insist on the subject any further.

Making sure there was no way for Henry to see his hand, Killian quickly pinched Emma's breast, letting her know that they would definitely talk (and maybe do other things) about this later. It had become their own secret code for when they weren't alone but wanted to let the other know they were in (good) trouble: he would pinch her breast and she would discretely cup him through his pants. When they were finally alone, the outcome would never disappoint. Emma looked at him through the corner of her eyes, a mischievous grin planted on her lips but of course the pirate was pretending to be absolutely focused on the show. Deciding to enjoy the rest of the episode, Emma rested her head on top of Henry's shoulder as she held Killian's hand and laced their fingers together. After a long day at work, going home to her boys was the best part of the day.

* * *

"Her voice is different from yours." Killian's voice suddenly erupted through the living room after a long while. "The dimples aren't quite the same either." Then his hook suddenly caressed her cheek, before gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "And I much prefer the blonde locks." His blue eyes were now practically drilling a hole in her head.

"Uh… I guess that's my cue." Henry suddenly getting up from the couch was what brought them out of their own little world as the ending credits rolled on the screen.

"Oh, right. I completely forgot you were going to Regina's. I can drive you there, if you want to." As much as Emma loved her son, she couldn't help but feel excited to remember today was one of the days she wouldn't need to worry about Henry walking in on compromising situations or hearing things she definitely didn't want him to hear. All of which was Killian's fault, of course.

"Mom, it's two blocks away. I'll walk, it's fine." Henry assured her as he grabbed his coat from the coat rack.

"Okay. Don't forget to tex-"

"Text you when I get there, I know. Don't worry. See you tomorrow."

And just like that, he was out the door. The fact that she hadn't gotten a goodbye kiss didn't go unnoticed by Emma, but Henry was currently going through one of his awkward teenager phases where he wasn't overly affectionate with anyone (except Violet, that is) so she just brushed it off.

"Want to watch another episode and then we can have dinner?" Her suggestion sounded like music to his ears and he didn't waste any time in enveloping her in his arms, planting a kiss on the top of her head as she grabbed the remote control.

It was early on in the episode when all of a sudden images of Dr. Cameron pouncing on a blonde man and kissing him invaded the screen. Emma mentally cringed when her look-alike harshly shoved the blonde against a wall and went back to devouring him as they started getting rid of each other's clothes. _Seriously? Now?_ , she thought to herself.

Killian's blissful smile suddenly turned into a serious and displeased scowl. Emma could actually see the vein in his forehead throbbing almost in sync with the movements of his now flared nostrils. Suddenly she really regretted her suggestion. Of course this was the episode with a sex scene.

"I need rum." Before she could even say or do anything, Killian got up from the couch and walked towards the kitchen.

"Okay… Maybe that wasn't the best idea." She added as she followed him into the kitchen, her gaze falling on him as he opened one of the cabinets and poured some rum in a glass.

"I know that's not you, love, but watching _that_ is still rather nauseating." Emma couldn't help but chuckle at his pure face of disgust as he took a sip. Keen on making him feel better, Emma started walking towards him, a very obvious and intentional seductive sway to her hips that had him gulping a little more dramatically than necessary. When she was close enough, she took the glass from him, her fingers purposely lingering on his before she brought the glass to her own lips, her gaze never leaving his. His Swan was a bloody minx and he would never get tired of it. Just when he was about to pull her to him, her hands rested on his chest for a second before she roughly pushed him against the counter, quickly trapping him with her body.

"That should be more than enough proof that the woman you saw there isn't me." Because this…", her lips then landed on his, her tongue relentless and hungry, "is something I only do with you." She breathed into him as she bit on his bottom lip.

"And it better stay that way", Killian growled in response, an intense sense of possession taking over him. Having watched someone who looked very much like her with another man had disturbed him deeply and he suddenly felt a caveman urge to stake his claim on her, even if rationally he was well aware Emma didn't belong to anyone but herself. His own desperation only seemed to encourage Emma's forwardness as she carefully tilted his head and started spreading languid kisses all over his neck, as she knew he loved. But something wasn't right, Emma could feel it in the way his body was reacting to her – perks of being True Love and all.

"What's wrong?" she chuckled as she released his neck with a semi-worried look on her face. She really wanted to bang her pirate and she wasn't being shy about it.

"Sorry, Swan. It's just…" his hand immediately went to scratch the spot behind his ear, his nervousness showing through. "Are we sure that paying a visit to this bloody replica of yours wouldn't be in our best interests?" Clearly he was still suspicious of the fact that there was someone out there who just happened to look like her.

"Please, let's leave the poor woman alone. It's a non-issue. I just look like her, that's it."

"Correction: _she_ looks like _you_."

"Okay, fine. The woman who looks like me is a normal person. The point is she's not a threat, we don't need to worry." Emma was sure the tone in her voice would've been more patient if she weren't so desperate to get in his pants.

"What if when Jekyll and Hyde were in town one of them made you drink the serum and then someone erased your memories?" Emma squinted at him, trying to follow his logic. He was blowing this thing way out of proportion.

"Relax. I did not drink any serum and no one erased my memories." She reassured him, her voice now softer as her fingers gently threaded his hair.

"Can you blame me for thinking it with all the woeful things that happen in this town!?" he certainly had a point. It's not like any of it was completely out of this world. Or hadn't happened before. It wasn't that surprising that he was just assuming the worst, but she knew for a fact that none of that had happened. Not this time.

"We would have realized something was wrong. And besides I seriously doubt my evil half would just go around making TV shows." She actually laughed just thinking about it.

"Well… The Dark Swan was quite the actress, if I do say so meself…" smirking at her, he swiftly leaned into her, his flirtatious body language letting her know that she had convinced him her look-alike wasn't a problem.

"Okay, I suddenly don't like this conversation." Emma knew that any mentions of her cursed self would always be a sensitive topic for her, but she was also thankful for the way she and Killian had been able to forgive each other and put all of it in the past, making peace with it. So much so that recently they were starting to make jokes about it and tease one another about it.

"My love…" he grumbled as he brought her closer to him, "you know I am a fan of every part of you. And now that all is as it should be, I can look back and appreciate certain things that were not of my prime concern back then…" his voice was suddenly a couple of notches lower as he played with the buttons on her knitted grey cardigan.

"Uh huh… Such as?" she provoked him right back, thrilled that they finally seemed to be on the same page.

"Your… assets looked _particularly_ wondrous in that black suit of yours" the raspiness in his voice was followed by the soft touch of his middle finger tracing the curve of her left breast. He felt her shiver under his touch, a loud sigh escaping her lips. His finger slowly wandered down her body, her eyes closing in response. His thumb circled the button on her jeans as he used his hook to push her against him, letting her feel how much he wanted her.

"Don't be a tease." She laughed as she stood on her tip toes to kiss him.

"Aye… But only if you tell me who your celebrity crush is." Emma's eyes shot open at that and his rascal smirk was the first thing she noticed. Of course he hadn't forgotten about it. If she weren't so turned on she would probably keep being coy about it but she had no time for that now.

"Just some actor, no big deal." Emma kept on kissing him, hoping that he would just leave it at that so they could proceed to even more enjoyable activities but Killian was having none of it.

"Ah, I think I know who it is. Henry told me about this fellow who seems to be quite successful with the ladies. Colin… Farnell? Colin… Farewell?" all the while his hand had started gripping her butt, having no qualms about keeping teasing her.

"Colin Farrell?", she corrected him.

"Aye, exactly. I must say I do not see his appeal, Swan. You could have a more dashing celebrity crush."

"Just shut up and touch me." She urged him as her own hand brushed over his bulge. "And, by the way, you got the wrong Colin."


End file.
